


Total Eclipse Of The Heart

by AtroposCorvus



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon), Tangled (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Descent into evil and out of it again, F/F, Or Is It?, Rapunzel tries to become a god for a hot second, Unrequited Love, What if the sundrop had been poisoned way back in season 1, but not too dark i promise, evil persona is definitely appreciating your physique, if you simp for your bestie whose, unbeta'd we die like my sanity did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27630569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtroposCorvus/pseuds/AtroposCorvus
Summary: It starts with a dark incantation. At least perhaps it should have, somewhere else, within another strand of twisting time. Here, it starts before a journey. Here it starts with a painting of a tree, a rift torn open and a warlock who never escapes.Aka a stray shot of Zhan Tiri's magic poisons the sundrop in season 1 and everything just spirals from there
Relationships: Cassandra & Rapunzel (Disney: Tangled), Cassandra/Rapunzel (Disney: Tangled), Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider/Rapunzel
Comments: 48
Kudos: 72





	1. Act I Catharsis

**Author's Note:**

> This idea held me at gunpoint at two in the morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a little bit of fun in turning evil and flirting with your bestie

It starts with a dark incantation. At least perhaps it should have, somewhere else, within another strand of twisting time. Here, it starts before a journey. Here it starts with a painting of a tree, a rift torn open and a warlock who never escapes.

There is power coursing through Rapunzel that is not hers. It is a surge, sudden. Something cracks and then it is gone again and she feels nauseous, worn out. She brushes it off, as everyone does. The mind controlling magic must have taken more out of her than all of them thought. The problem is that she stays tired for weeks. Rapunzel sleeps just fine through the night, but something in the back of her thoughts always seems to keep her mind from fully resting. Now she feels restless most of the time. It agitates her and she finds herself annoyed with the smallest of things. Just yesterday she snapped at Stan when he had whistled a bit too loud. She feels bad for it now, a bit at least, or a lot maybe. The feeling just does not go away. She paints and paints, yet it will not leave Rapunzel be. She snaps at more people, not just Stan. It feels like everybody is crowding her these days. That is why she distances herself from the people, just for a while. She does not like being like this. Rapunzel just needs rest to get back to her old self.

A part of her whispers that she is lying.

Rapunzel brushes that off too. She knows she is not an angry person. She is kind and light. This surely will not last. The problem is that it does not just go away. So she paints some more, but it just stays with her. It is always there, that agitation, that underlying anger at something she cannot name. It is why she begins pushing people away, only a bit. It seems reasonable at that time. 

The other, still nameless, part of her likes to disagree.

Rapunzel gets better for a while, maybe that fatigue is finally gone. She laughs with the others again, can fondly watch Eugene and Cassandra banter without feeling exhausted and nauseous. It is a shame that it does not stay that way. 

Of course there are adventures, contained to Corona. She is made queen for a day and it feels good to be trusted by the people. Something within her preens at the attention and the little more freedom this grants her. There even is snow. It is a perfect day, it is a light day. Only, her parents are not back once the wind begins to blow stronger. She tells Nigel she cannot stay and not look for them, Nigel tells her she cannot simply leave her subjects behind in a time of need. She almost despises that he is right.

All is well in the end, after the storm has been redirected with a machine of legend, after her parents almost died, after she broke a promise to Varian, a boy without a father now. Cassandra tells her she made the only choice. It is almost easy to believe that. Rapunzel will make it up to Varian, later, after she has ensured her parents are fine.

Of course she cannot make it up to Varian before he decides to turn against Corona and kidnap her mother. First she feels the sudden loss, the betrayal, then comes the anger that she does not think is hers. There is the need to dig fingers into flesh, to make him pay for what he did, what he is still doing. For the first time she is scared of herself. The hug she receives from Eugene does not help, nor do the words he whispers into her hair. 

"We will get her back, sunshine."

It feels somewhat smothering, this care. She does not quite know what to do with it now. He does not think that she is so fragile that this will break her, does he? It gnaws at her, that inkling thought that he might think her weaker now that she is back at the palace. Rapunzel did not forget everything merely because she returned to a soft life among gilded walls. Somehow the fleeting contact of Cassandra's hand upon her shoulder later is more reassuring than what others have provided so far. Perhaps Cassandra simply knows how to make her actions speak ever louder than words.

'Liar.', the nameless part whispers.

Of course Varian is not unprepared when they come for the queen. No one kidnaps a royal and is unaware of the repercussions it will have. The boy has an army, metal fighters that he uses against Corona's forces. The people fight to protect what is theirs, while Rapunzel tries to right what has been done wrong by her broken promise. Only that it cannot be corrected. Her attempts are not enough. Varian is forcing her to choose, automaton holding mother and Cassandra in its grip until she thinks she can hear rips crack. She feels helpless here, angry as well. How dare he take from her like this? The urge to make him pay returns, crashes into her like a wave.

"Let me help. I can help." This time 'it' offers something. She can feel it, the allure of whatever it is that is being promised. 

In her mind's eye she is nodding, agreeing to anything if it only makes Varian stop with this, forces him to see reason. Power that is not hers floods her veins again, like that day at the dead tree. It sends sparks across her skin, bright and golden. It fills her hair, that snaps around her like a living, breathing thing. The black rocks follow as it moves. The power surges, jumps from her fingertips as the rocks rumble like thunder. There is the sound of metal ripping, the scrapping of rock against rock. Her vision fades for a moment, after the strange power seems to have fully left her. Cassandra and her mother are save, Varian is defeated. It feels good for a moment, before the guilt creeps back in. This would not have happened at all had she simply helped Varian.

The poor boy is dragged away to prison after. Rapunzel still has to swallow down bile when the severity of the events crashes into her, the consequences actions hold. She has to bite back thinly veiled threats when her eyes meet Varian's one last time. She does not want to feel like this, but is unable to stop it from happening at all. 

Later that day, when she is getting ready for bed she stares at herself in the mirror. She still looks the same, does she not? So why does she not fully feel like herself lately?

'He is just a child. He was just hurt and lashed out.'

'A child that threatened what is yours. A child that took your freedom an tried to wrestle it into a choice with no freedom at all.', 'it' hisses in her mind. 'It' is so angry.

Rapunzel meets her own gaze in the reflective surface. There are dark specks in her eyes, like tiny imperfections. She blinks until she does not see them anymore, then goes to bed.

That night she dreams of being trapped in a tower once more, the walls high and empty. She can hear the others, how they are making plans, how they are leaving her behind all alone. She cannot follow and they are unwilling to free her. Maybe they do not even hear her scream out for help. Somewhere in the shadows something moves and for a moment she is terrified that it is Gothel. Until that person steps from the shadows. It is Rapunzel, some version at least. The long hair floats in dark strands, her eyes are swallowed by darkness. She walks like her, but does not sound the same when she speaks. She sounds like 'it' instead when the words slip past her tongue.

"This will be our future. They will lock you up and call it safekeeping. We have to leave. Now!"

Dream her nods after a pause. She believes it, somehow, because sometimes people care too much to do the right thing. 'It'... no she smiles. It is a smile that splits her cheeks. It is still unsettling in some way.

The real Rapunzel wakes with a start, air stale in her lungs. Her nightgown sticks to skin cold with sweat. She thinks maybe she cannot even trust her own dreams now, but she also heeds the warning. She should leave, there is more for her out there. Perhaps she can find something that will not make her freedom feel as fleeting as it does right now.

She readies herself for a fight when she tells her father, but he looks at her, understanding.

"I see now that there is more for you out there, a destiny you need to follow. I cannot expect to be able to keep you from that." His eyes are so kind. She almost feels guilty for thinking that he would try to force her to stay.

"Thank you.", Rapunzel breathes it into his shoulder as she hugs him tight.

Her closest companions gather their things for the journey. Eugene is ever supportive. She thinks maybe he finally understands what this freedom means to her. Maybe she can make him see all the things the palace uses to chain someone down.

It breaks her heart to see that he does not when they are only a few days into their search for the meaning of her destiny. Rapunzel catches him rehearsing his proposal in the caravan and runs before he can explain. He does not need to, he still does not see the chains cast upon them by these decisions. He thinks life in the palace is the safest bet, he likes the certainty a life like that gives someone in exchange for their freedom.

'Of course he would not understand. He just wants to chain you down again in the name of love and safety.', the other her chants. Though it comes with a shocking realization that this is not a separate entity from her. This is her, her thoughts, her fears. She can trust it, right? One can surely trust their own thoughts. 

Rapunzel stares at herself in the reflective surface of a pond, sees the worried furrow of her brow. This is what they can do to her, because she is not strong enough to oppose them.

"To keep my freedom I have to become stronger than them, all of them." This desire is hot, burning this time. She feels it in the pits of her soul, the knowledge that this is her destiny. She is meant to gain her freedom and never lose it again.

This time, when the dark spots creep back into the reflection of her eyes she lets them stay. The surface of the water ripples, the darkness remains. She smiles. She keeps it there, only blinks it away when she realizes that she has to return to the caravan. She can pretend a little longer, let them think she is all frail and breakable until there is nothing that could break her.

They arrive in Vardaros and immediately trouble finds them. It is nothing new when it comes to all matters concerning Eugene and his past, there are a lot of ghosts there that lie undefeated. It is also not new that they have to save him from these types of ghosts. The baron is a large, burly man, who smiles too feral when his daughter announces the she will be marrying Eugene. Rapunzel may play the act of being hurt by that, but she cannot help think that maybe it would be better. He cannot understand her need for freedom, so he should at least be free to find someone else who wishes to marry as much as him. 

Though, as it turns down that has been a sham. Lance had almost died. They catch a break for maybe a few seconds, before there is another, small villain to defeat. After, she just wants to do something nice for the people, because they have just regained their freedom from the Baron and all his goons.

"Thank you for saving me back there, sunshine."

Rapunzel knows that he means it, but it just sounds so overbearingly sweet that it makes her stomach churn with an anxious kind of nausea. She nods, swallows down the rising bile and smiles adoringly back at him. 

"You know I have your back Eugene."

After, she decides to throw herself into the planning of the Goodwill festival for the people, who turn out to be less than enthusiastic about the entire ordeal. They prefer Cassandra's approach, the roguish and risky games. She is jealous for a moment. Of what, she cannot name, or perhaps does not want to name. Then again, she does not have time to consider that particular thought, seeing as chaos does not wait long to strike. Who knew that she would prefer the days on the road instead of the days where they supposedly had downtime in a pretty city?

The Forest Of No Return is, at the moment, a horrible place to be, not in the way that the forest itself is terrible, but rather because Eugene does not seem to know how to lead them to the other side. Rapunzel it is not only one who is getting annoyed. Cassandra has been rolling her eyes at his antics for perhaps an hour now. Though Cassandra might just not be annoyed enough to consider setting fire to this place like she does at the given moment. Her only saving grace is the mysterious woman going by Adira, who appears with the answers to their troubles. Eugene sulks. Cassandra does too, but in a more angry way, more betrayed. Her sulking turns into those longing, sad gazes at night. Rapunzel decides to file that away for later. After all she will need someone who will stay for later steps. She hopes Cass might be that someone. Cass seems like someone who knows a bit too much about being trapped in places where one does not belong.

Rapunzel still makes sure to tell her thanks for coming along on this journey. Cass almost preens when she tells her that they would not have come this far without her.

And then comes the goddamned spire, with a keeper so obnoxious that she feels annoyance bubble over into seething anger a few seconds after meeting the woman. There are so many things that she has to bite back between clenched teeth, things that almost burst out the moment it is revealed that Calliope is in fact not the Keeper of the Spire. The Kurlock that is still pursuing them is only the cherry on top. However as all things are, she still needs Calliope. An apprentice to the Keeper of the Spire indebted to her is better than nothing. It tastes a little bit bittersweet to encourage the woman to work together. In another twist of events the Kurlock was just a test for Calliope, so she may become the next keeper. Rapunzel doubts the old man's ability to make such choices through deadly tasks, but she receives another piece of the scroll that will lead her further down the path of destiny. It helps keep the anger bubbling low, perhaps even layers it with some form of sweet satisfaction. Not only has she almost reached her goal, but she might also have later access to the relics the spire's vault has to offer.

They travel some more and she often finds herself sitting next to Cassandra instead of Eugene now. Lately the other woman's presence has been more calming, than her boyfriend's. He seems a bit too loud now. She feels things are changing and perhaps he has long since stopped fitting into that.

All the waiting still makes her sick with impatience. They do not seem to be getting any closer to the Dark Kingdom and Cassandra is not really, truly warming up to her yet. There is no guarantee that Cassandra is loyal enough to stay with her for whatever comes after the journey. Adira is a welcome factor then. She notes the tenseness that creeps into Cass' shoulders whenever the other warrior will appear to help them once more, leaving her own arguments ignored. It is something Rapunzel could play into later, that insecurity she sees there. She still does not know why it has to be Cassandra who has to stay, but she knows that she cannot keep her freedom alone for now. She will need one ally, at least until she has enough power.

The next days she sits a bit closer to Cassandra than she needs to, while still heeding Adira's advice. Rapunzel preens just a little under the longing gazes she gets from her friend whenever she thinks she is not looking.

When they find the moonstone incantation at the great tree, it feels like the breakthrough she especially has been waiting for. It is a strange new power that flows through her when she utters these long lost words. It slithers into her veins and nestles in. It stays there like a guiding hand. Her hair is dark, like ash that flits in the wind. The dark has crept into her eyes, spilling over everything except her pupils which are bright and golden, like a dying star. She draws the moment out, savors it. It saps the weak parts from her, turns the weak girl Rapunzel into someone more powerful. The name El echoes through her skull like the dying wish of her scared past selves.

El is only snapped out of the moment when Cass reaches for her. There is the snap and pop of her newfound magic. The decay crackles up her friend's arm, takes it fully. It is only stopped fully once Adira kicks her into the small pond, the cool water enough of a shock to her system that the magic settles back somewhere she cannot draw it out again immediately. She feels a bit guilty that Cassandra got hurt, but that too can be used to further her own gains.

Of course Cassandra is angry with her, because El listened to Adira instead of her. El is making sure her friend truly knows just how sorry she is. There is a wonderful flush creeping along Cassandra's neck when she hugs her tight.

"I promise I will not ignore you advice ever again, Cass. I am so sorry you got hurt because of me." She breathes the words into Cassandra's shoulder and delights in the way the other woman tenses.

"Apology accepted, Raps." The words rush from her mouth, awkward and slightly breathy. 

El grins, but it is a bit soured by the usage of her name. That is something she will have to correct sooner or later, preferably when she is certain Cass will not leave her. It is quite important that her friend stays. After all, the magic of the moonstone is somewhat locked within her now and she does not think she can access that power again without it, unless she wishes to lose control again that is. So Cassandra's undying support might be crucial to getting it in the end. After all, El knows by now that things will never go as planned.

Getting the last piece of the scroll almost feels too much of a hassle to be worth it in the end. Demanitus has turned himself into a monkey to preserve for many years in order to help the ones seeking for the scroll. El would find it amusing, that someone with so much power used it in such a convoluted way without any proper way out for them, but as things are, things are less amusing with the ways Demanitus has chosen to hide the last piece of the scroll. The only hurdle seems to be the labyrinth. Then there are the riddles which make up the defense mechanisms of the entirety of this place. So far they do not seem to have set any of them off, which comes as a pleasant surprise for once. Only a mere breath later, Demanitus accidentally chucks the key to the last piece down a cliff. There are perhaps entire five minutes where he bickers with Eugene about it, while El tries to find reasons why she should not simply shove both of them over the same cliff.

"Would you just stop? Eugene can pick the lock of the chest later." She is doing a good job of sounding impatient and annoyed instead of murderous.

Eugene gets the last piece of the scroll, El feels her fingers itch with how close she is to the power she needs. then, in a shocking twist of events, it does turn out that Eugene did not follow a warning. Her respect for Demanitus slightly increases as they come face to face with the gargoyle. Although it immediately decreases again when he admits the creature has no weakness whatsoever. She also wants to leave Eugene here, just for a moment so he can deal with that particular mistake by himself. Just for a few seconds. The idea surely is enticing, but she is no monster, so she helps him defeat it instead. In the end they have a map to the Dark Kingdom to show for it. her search might finally be over.

Her journey continues and occasionally she will sit just a bit too close to Cassandra when the group has gathered around a cozy bonfire at night. El still delights in how her closeness seems to affect her friend. It is quite adorable to watch Cass try to look at anyone but her. On such a night. When they are maybe only a few hours away from reaching their destination, she decides to confide in the woman.

"I am a bit worried, Cass. We don't even know what the sundrop and moonstone will do when they are reunited. What if things go wrong.", El asks with just enough softness to her words that is sounds vulnerable.

Cassandra tenses, her shoulders all stiff where she is resting her head. There is a fiercely protective lilt to her voice when she replies.

"It will be fine. I won't let anything happen to you."

Oh, El knows that nothing will happen to herself. Though Casssandra's words reassure her that her friend will be by her side in the final moments of the journey. She allows herself a triumphant grin at that, wraps her arms around the brunette in a rather awkward side hug. That night she dreams of kingdoms build with Cassandra.

Eugene's worry for her is as cute as it is overbearing. Just before they reach the chasm separating them from their goal he pulls her a bit further from the group. She can see the doubts in his eyes. 

"Listen sunshine, there was something that Demanitus gave me. It mentions that someone will betray you." There is such care in his words. He truly is a sweet person, even if his worry is misplaced.

El merely smiles gently, hopes it does not look too entertained. "I don't think anyone would betray me.", A lie. 

Eugene eyes Cassandra carefully. That, that is something she does not think amusing. Cass is by far the only whom she thinks will stay and even then there might have to be some very convincing play to ensure that it stays just like that. El feels a bit bad for that part should it be necessary, but better safe than sorry. She slightly elbows her companion, lets him know with a look that that is just preposterous. 

It seems like he believes her as they watch Cassandra bring the cable car towards their side of the gaping chasm. It is a lot that happens after, things that happen in quick succession until it feels like her heartstrings have been twisted a bit too much. The cable car is attacked by those who seek to protect the moonstone from other forces, Eugene falls to his demise as Cass pulls her to safety. This journey was not supposed to demand sacrifices like this. El was ready to have people turn their back on her, she was not ready for them to die for her. She mourns him, as much as she can with her destiny pulling at her limbs like a puppeteer at strings. She almost does not comprehend how he is the one denying her entry to the castle then. Not only did Eugene manage to trick death twice, but it is also he who is turning against her. It stings, hurts in all the ways it does when the person claiming to love you takes choices of your own destiny from you.

Hurt makes way for anger. The incantation sits on the tip of her tongue. She has not tried yet if it could take an entire castle down the path of ruin. The magic sparks, weak like a dying flame. Her anger simmers down to agitation at her own limitations. As fate would have it, they still manage to find a passage into the castle. With every step El takes, she feels something within her swell with anticipation. The sundrop is desperately reaching for its counterpart. The air is permeated with magic, old magic. The same kind of old magic that makes the old kings come alive to do their duty to protect the moonstone right when Eugene chooses to see reason. Spirits cannot be hurt, that much is true, but toppling and breaking the statues which they are bound to is quite easy once everybody helps. Still, El refuses to take anyone but Eugene and Cassandra past this point, they play a crucial part for her after all.

The moonstone beckons her, calls the sundrop home. It sounds like unlimited freedom if they were to be reunited. It is the kind of old magic which will make her so powerful no one will underestimate her ever again. They can try, but she will refuse to let them do it to her. Just before she takes the first step towards the end of her destiny and the beginning of a new, more vibrant life, she sends both Eugene and Cass a grin that is perhaps a little too wide, a little too sharp. He smiles back nonetheless, always soft, always gentle. Whereas her friend looks a bit skeptical. Whoops, can one blame El for getting a bit too excited and letting the mask slip just a little? Certainly not, a girl wants to have fun after all.

Her fingertips are just skimming the smooth surface of the opal when there is a flurry of footsteps behind her. A body appears next to her, a gloved hand encloses the moonstone before her own can curl around it. She turns just a bit to see that it is Cassandra. Well this development is inconveniently convenient.

"You have been acting strange lately. Whatever it is you think you are doing, I cannot let you go through with it.", she hisses it between clenched teeth. The moonstone's magic crackles across her skin. El, for a moment, thinks she looks utterly beautiful like this. 

"Whoops, here I thought the acting was good enough. No one noticed but you, but you always know when I am lacking sweetness, don't you?", she whispers it between tiny giggles. 

Well, now there is no need to keep up the charade anymore, is there? A bit of the opal's remnant magic sparks across her arm, she breathes deeply. Her hair spills like ink, or more like ashes with the tips like remnant embers. She manages a mock gasp that forces Eugene into motion when her eyes turn dark, pupils alight with the gold of dying galaxies.

"Cassandra! What are you doing? Stop, you are hurting her!" There he is, the knight in shining armor whom she has no need of anymore. 

There is scuffling behind him as the others spill in. Cassandra's gaze jumps from El to him and back to El again. She seems speechless, lost, but the black rock armor gives her an imposing figure. The way she has angled herself almost looks like Cass is threatening her and by the looks of it Eugene thinks that exactly that is the case. His jaw is clenched and there is a fire in his eyes.

She leans towards her friend, makes it look a little like she is pleading with her. 

"But oh, that is where you are mistaken my dear Cassandra. I only ever needed the moonstone with me, close enough to have its magic around and now I have you." Her hair hides the smirk that accompanies the words. 

The surprise in her friends eyes makes it almost impossible not to kiss her, but that would ruin the show, would it not? Instead she wraps are arms around Cass' midsection, mindful of the spikes of course, and topples them over the edge towards darkness with a pleased smile.


	2. Act II Tenebrous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Cassandra seeks answers. She gets a weird kind of domesticity & war instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your kind words, time and patience. I truly appreciate that you take a bit of time out of your day to read this story. I hope this chapter is to your liking as well.
> 
> If you wish to screech into the void with me, you can find me on Twitter under @AtroposCorvus
> 
> Enjoy^^

Cassandra should have had known by now that the relationship between her and Rapunzel would always be a sort of push and pull. It has turned quite literal now. Raps has pushed them over the edge, Cass is pulling her closer as they hurtle towards the ground. The blonde seems happy enough to cling to her, whereas she herself is more concerned of not making acquaintances with the ground at high velocity. The moonstone in her chest aches, responds to her fear. The sea of black rocks parts, forms a steep slide to somewhere that hopefully does not lead to imminent demise. She angles them a little, tilts until she is certain she will take the brunt of the first impact. Rapunzel seems to take that as an invite to just nose at her neck. It makes the moments they spend on the improvised slide slightly awkward, even more so when Raps refuses to move the first few seconds when they have reached the outside somehow.

This time it is Cassandra's turn to push, albeit a bit more gently. She checks her friend for injuries, finds no changes except the ones that are jarringly obvious. What just happened? 

"Are you insane?" The words come out perhaps more angry than worried. No one can blame her for being a bit disoriented after the very eventful moments that have led her here.

Rapunzel tilts her head to gaze at her, a bit bored perhaps. 

"Indestructible hair, remember? I am not incompetent.", she pouts a little. It should not be as endearing as it is. She smirks a bit, slides up further Cassandra's body. "And I do not think you would have let anything happen to me. You said so yourself."

Cassandra swallows nervously, this situation seems dangerous in ways that do not spell imminent death, but are jarringly similar. She manages a nod before the moment is broken by movement slightly above them. She had forgotten about the others for a moment. 

Rapunzel huffs. Annoyed as she disentangles herself from her friend. 

"Spoilsports."

She can only watch as her best friend dusts herself off and meets the group head on. Raps is picking at her nails, indifferent to the distress of the others. Casandra does not know why, but she feels guilty when she hears Eugene speak. There is desperate hope clinging to every syllable. 

"Sunshine, please. We can help you if you just wait."

"No, I don't think I will." The smile that accompanies the words is huge, a bit feral if one were to ask Cass.

Raps makes a grab for her hand, twirls them around and runs. All she can do is follow. Obviously. Though from the way Eugene is glaring at her when she chances a glance back she gathers that she does not have much of a choice anyways. Her heart leaps a bit in her throat when her friend does not seem to slow the closer they get to the chasm they crossed earlier.

"Raps, I don't think another plummet to imminent death is going to solve this." The words catch a little in her throat. She feels somewhat ill fitted to deal with this. 

Rapunzel frowns a bit when she turns around, tension has crept into her shoulders. Though it melts away just as quickly as it appeared. The grin is back as she lifts their joined hands upward. 

"It's El now, so have a little faith, won't you? I'm not that trapped princess anymore." Rap- El punctuates the sentence with a quick press of lips to the back of Cassandra's hand.

She is dying, just a little, and that must be the only reason why her magic sparks to life, beckons the dark stones to safely grand them passage. She is dying and this is how she will be lead to the heavens, a pointless love grasping her hand as she is dragged away from all the things that have kept her grounded. With each step they take across the chasm, Cassandra expects to fade a little more, to cease in her existence.

But El is still holding her hand and they are still running. Cassandra has been chosen for this, as strange as it might seem. A selfish little part of her delights at the thought. Rapunzel chose her before all, before Eugene and her people. They run until their lungs burn, until the rocks have to shelter the from them rain at night. The fire they huddle around shines brightly, but it does not manage to warm her. The betrayal is still sinking into her skin, the guilt still clings to her skin like oil. Where do they go from here?

"What will I be to you now?" She swallows the rest, swallows the anger, because the thought of being a glorified version of a handmaiden makes bile climb up her throat. Cassandra hopes her friend would never do that to her, but so much has changed. Why should that not change as well?

El laughs, it is sweet, even sweeter when she huddles closer to Cassandra, those burning eyes fixed on her. 

"Oh, Cass." El tilts her head up by the chin, just slightly. She cannot look away now. "You will be my champion of course."

How could she ever deny her? Cassandra is lost, wants to weep, because this is all she ever wanted. It is twisted now, but she still has not the heart to deny it. So she nods. There are words stuck in her mouth. El stares at her like the stars are trapped in her eyes. It is heavy, heavy, heavy. She does not know how to deal with it, not yet, but El curls around her and all seems less likely to choke her. The fire may not warm her, her friend's presence certainly does. She is perhaps to hold this little comfort, this lingering thing that is just warm and familiar like her longing.

That night she dreams of a time where forces have pulled them apart. There is an old spirit who whispers poison into her ears, there are misunderstandings that keep digging their blades into her skin. In that dream she tells Rapunzel she loves her, when all is said and done, but her love will never be seen as anything but friendship. Cassandra leaves and never quite returns. It hurts, even then.

Cassandra wakes, safely tucked into the warmth of another body. The rain has stopped, but traces of it remain within the air. It is surprisingly peaceful when one regards the events of the last 24 hours. It feels right somehow, until it sinks in that El is not Rapunzel. This cannot be real and even if it is, it cannot last. Cassandra has the distant feeling that the consequences of remaining like this will not be worth whatever it costs. 

She sighs, body still heavy with exhaustion. Still, she carefully removes herself from where El has curled around her. They do not have food, no way of transportation. She can at least take care of one. 

Cassandra is gone for maybe an hour, at most. El still barrels into her, arms circling her waist like she will disappear.

"I thought you left." It is muttered into some part of her shoulder. The hold tightens. "You cannot leave me, I will not allow it."

And quieter, like a scared child.

"You are all I have left."

That hurts, tears at Cassandra. She does not think that she should be the only one left. She is not good at that, being the only one for someone. For Rapunzel though, she will try.

She rests her head against El's, says, "I will never leave you."

Cassandra knows that she means it. El looks at her, all wide and so vulnerable that she must know it as well. Hands cup her cheeks with that sort of reverence only reserved for lovers. Her heart skips a beat or maybe all of them.

"I knew I chose well when I made you my champion." Cool lips press to Cassandra's forehead. "You will help me claim what has been taken."

That sounds dangerous. She should maybe do something about that, the glint in El's eye. Has it always been there? It couldn't, could it? 

They take the winding roads, tracing back their paths to a place that maybe still is home. El will hold her hand as they walk, will share a horse with her when they are tired of walking and curls around her every night that comes to pass on their journey. It changes nothing. Before, Rapunzel has always been easy with her very platonic affections and now the events have only amplified that. It is the shock of things, nothing else. Cassandra keeps repeating it inside her own head like a mantra. 

They return to a Corona that is lifeless and bleak. El frowns in disgust. Clearly this is not what she has expected. It is not what Cassandra expected either, her version had decidedly more pitchforks pointed at her, at them. El walks to the palace with a sureness in her step, some form of confidence she did not have before. Nothing much has changed here, though the guards glance at them as if they are unsure what to do. They are not stopped, maybe that should have been the first sign.

The throne room is empty, mostly. She means in the way that people are not filling it to make their voices heard. The king and queen merely sit atop their throne, flanked by Eugene and the guards. the former gasps, smiles brightly when Rapunzel has supposedly returned to him. El does not really look at him, gaze fixed to the throne.

"Father, mother, I have returned for the kingdom that is rightfully mine." She smiles, gently, charming, simply disarming.

Eugene frowns, the guards reach for their weapons and Cassandra tenses. The king and queen seem oddly unmoved.

"I have no daughter to gift this kingdom to, certainly not you." It is cold, detached.

Cassandra cringes. This must sting, she sees it in the way El draws back in on herself. When she advances, magic sparking in any way but calm, Eugene is the one to step forward.

"Sunshine, listen to me." He still sounds as desperate as he did in the dark kingdom.

"I will not listen to you. Was this your plan all along? Either keep me locked up or take what is mine for yourself if I refuse to be trapped?! Are you anything, but a thief?"

There is a collective gasp, a silence that hangs uncomfortably above their heads. Eugene turns towards her, anger twisting his face into something barely recognizable.

"No, listen! Whatever she has done to you, whatever lies she told, we can fix it.", he spits the words, does not even say Cassandra's name.

Something inside of her twists at that. She and Eugene had never been the best of friends, but she did not expect this of him. Cass thought, that if nothing at all, he at least trusted her to keep Rapunzel safe in all the ways that mattered. She is about to say as much when El advances on him, seething.

"How dare you! Am I so weak to you that the mere thought of me breaking through has you think of something else pulling at the strings? How dare you say that when you were the first to betray me?" She jabs a finger into his chest, snarls at him like he is someone truly vile.

The guards begin to pull their weapons, unsure of how to react. Cassandra herself does not quite know what is going on. Who betrayed who? Who is the villain in this, truly? 

El whirls around, eyes wild and furious. Her chest heaves with the lungfuls of air she is sucking in. Cassandra feels something off before the first note can pass her lips. She moves in an instant, remembers the promise to protect Rapunzel. Her magic follows that desperate need, dark rocks splintering the walls. It does its purpose of distracting everyone long enough to take a hold of El. Cassandra tugs her away, towards the hole she has torn into the wall. Nobody stops them, their shock running deep. El does not resist, but the anger does not leave her eyes until they have left Corona. 

Even then she chants "I will get it back." over and over until she is too tired to move anymore. Cassandra does not know what to say, only knows that El buries closer when she is wrapped up in her arms. She breathes into her neck, tightens her hold until Cass thinks it will choke her. She does not pull away. El needs this and she will not take any more from her friend than what they have already lost. 

Her world comes to a grating halt when it sinks in. They have lost their home, all that is connected to it really. They have nowhere to go now, no one on their side. It makes her furious, suddenly, that nobody stopped to talk. She is furious at herself for running when talking might have solved something if not everything. They are alone, maybe soon to be replaced. Her jaw clenches, hands trembling. The magic within her suddenly wants out. El shifts, murmurs something she does not quite catch into the skin of her neck and nuzzles closer. It is enough, calms the currents within her. Perhaps it is the moonstone being soothed by its counterpart.

The next day, when her muscles ache from whatever position she fell asleep in, El looks less murderous and more determined. She is watching Cass, cheek resting on her knee where it is drawn up against her chest. It feels peaceful, them caught in the early morning light like this. It is times like this where her heart swells to a point it hurts with the longing trapped in her ribcage. 

El is still looking.

"We can make our own, can't we? A home, a kingdom. I dreamed of it, building it with you I mean." Her voice is rough with sleep, lacking its usual sugar sweet softness. Cassandra finds she likes it. 

"I think so. A small speck of nowhere just for you." It seems like the right thing to say, the right sort of half promise to make.

El grins, that sort of thing that looks a bit out of place, but looks drenched in happiness. Cass likes that too, likes it even more now that she is partly the reason for it.

They travel to Koto first, avoid Pittsford altogether and cross the borders of Galcrest and Neserdnia until they find a spot of land claimed by no one but a few unaligned. It is not pretty per say, the trees naked in the late autumn, the villages compromised of shacks, but it holds a certain charm. The people are lovely, welcoming even. They shake hands and offer a place to stay. They allow them to build a home there. It is a towering thing, their home, the palace. Black rocks stretch towards the sky, twist in sharp edges until they form something that almost feels alive. The villagers do not seem to mind, most of them at least. They offer furniture in return for help. Cassandra helps gladly, El seems slightly out of her element. Not in a sense that she does not wish to help, but rather that some tasks, such as carpentering or cooking for the village elude her just a little. They tried once to let her cook and do not wish to repeat the mistake. 

El does help in different ways though, describes the easiest trade routes, helps with the trouble that bothers the locals if feuds can be solved by a third party. She easily falls into the role of a monarch without any of them noticing until they are already far into winter. Cassandra might say all of them noticed too late, later when all is said and done. Now, well now they all are convinced she is the best leader there could be. She cares for the people, Cassandra her ever loyal knight who will defend the people if words are not enough and magic an action too cruel.

Not once has Cassandra worn anything but her armor. In a way she does not think she can wear anything that would expose her now. Whereas El has discarded her old dress to don fabric of a darker color that reminds of a starless sky that slings around one shoulder, pinned in place by brooch depicting a burning solar eclipse. She is beautiful like this, so much so that it will often steal Cassandra's breath away.

The betrayal lingers in the back of her head now, is pushed away by the want to get answers. She has not gotten them yet, not in a way that matters. She knows El desires freedom and what is hers, but the why is unclear, so is the way she will use to achieve it. Cass cannot leave her, feels like it would worsen things to a point of no return.

Time passes in this sort of domestic limbo and soon they find themselves about to celebrate the coming of another year. El looks at her all sweet for the entirety of the day, as Cass hauls around more rations and firewood for the winter, while she herself listens intently to the worries of the people. Cassandra catches only half of it with the way her mind stutters when a smirk is send her way. It is a bit much attention, the kind she is not used to. El is more open in the ways she will drape herself over her. El seems to enjoy the ways it makes her tense and stutter. She cannot say that she does not like it, but it still feels off, still feels like this connection is something that mayhaps should not be there in the first place.

After that day, with her heart thundering in her throat, she is only glad to return to her own quarters. Cassandra may be strong, but even she does not know how long she can still refrain from kissing her best friend. She drags a hand through her hair, sighs. 

"I cannot keep doing this." She can at least admit it to herself. Though even to her it is lost what she truly means with it.

Her gaze trails across her mostly empty room, the barren walls. She did not bring much, did not wish to keep much when the villagers offered. A pity that her weapon collection is not with her, some familiarity might have been nice.

Cassandra lets herself fall into the softness of her bed, eyes closed. Something slightly sharp digs into her side, makes her hiss in pain just a little. There, spread out underneath her is a dark suit and the sword holster and brooch that keep digging into her side. She groans. How could she forget that she promised El that they would attend today's festivities? Maybe she had hoped her friend would forget about it herself.

With a grunt she pushes herself up. Cass has never broken a promise and she certainly will not start now. The suit fits surprisingly well, despite nobody having taken her measurements beforehand. Though it makes her feel tense with how little protection it offers. She has gotten used to her armor, to the ways she could move in it. With another sigh she slides her sword into the holster. 

She can see the floating lights from her window. The festivities have started already. El must be getting impatient with her. Or perhaps she has already left, unwilling to wait much longer for Cassandra. She fixes the brooch to her suit, lets her fingertips trace its outline. It is somewhat the official unofficial insignia of their new home. The same burning eclipse pin that El wears with her own dress.

Taking another steadying breath she steps outside, is greeted by a grinning El who eyes her up and down. Her grin widens, traces of something in it Cassandra might name hunger if it were anybody else.

"I knew you would look good in it. You should wear it more often after this." She breathes, hands trailing over her shoulders to rest on her biceps.

All Cass can do is swallow the lump in her throat and smile nervously. Is she being flirted with? Is this just the general way El is now?

Her friend seems oblivious to her internal struggle, tangling their fingers to pull Cassandra to the outside. The celebrations are in full swing. Some of the townsfolk are performing one thing or the other, while other pile several dishes top a long line of tables. It is light, happy. Cassandra cannot quite remember a time where she has been as joyous as the people. Perhaps never, it comes with that tiny bit of childhood trauma.

Music fills the air, loud and vibrant. It does not take long for a crowd to form. The people are always quick to engage, be it in spats or festivities it seems. Cassandra watches for a while, standing on the sidelines while El spends time with the people. Every so often she will laugh, head thrown back in unbridled joy. It makes her think that perhaps all of this is something good. Her friend seems content, the wrongness that clung to her ever since their journey to the Dark Kingdom and all that came after seems to have diminished at least. Truly, what much else could she ask for?

Another part of her whispers that she simply does not wish to lose Rapunzel to Eugene and all of Corona again. To herself she can admit that sometimes she is selfish like that. 

Cassandra cannot dwell on her thoughts for all too long. As if she took note of it, El meets her eyes, gives her a challenging grin. She can only smile in return, softly shaking her head. It is known in all the kingdoms that Cass does not dance. It does not deter El from trying to convince her though. One moment her friend is with the crowd, the next she is gone and there are arms curling around her midsection. 

She has to stop herself from jamming her elbow into El's ribs at that. It happens a lot, the hugs, the resting of a chin or cheek on her shoulder. Cassandra is still trying to get used to it, which in all honesty is a bit difficult when all one can think about sometimes is how much they want to kiss their best friend. She is trying to take care of that as well.

"Won't you grace me with one small dance?"

Breath is ghosting the shell of her ear. Heat creeps along her neck. Her brain momentarily refuses to form any kind of coherent thought. As she was saying, she is taking care of it. It does not mean that she is succeeding in any way.

"I don't dance. I don't even think I know any of the steps." Cassandra sputters, anxiously toying with her brooch. 

El hides a throaty chuckle in her shoulder, she can feel the vibrations running up and down her spine. She is not going to survive this, is she?

"Is that not half the fun?" Her voice has dropped a few octaves, turned into a form of rumbling purr.

It is very effective in tearing down Cassandra's defenses. Her hands feel clammy, no matter how often she wipes them against her pants.

"Perhaps. I am not opposed to trying." She tries to steady her voice, hopes El does not pick up on her jittery energy.

The woman in question slides around her, never allowing herself to lose contact. How in heaven's name is she supposed to concentrate like this? How can anyone concentrate around this woman without losing focus every other second? El drags her towards the crowd, a spring in her step that Cassandra will not try to mimic. The people smile at her, warm and welcome. Rapunzel has always been the more sociable one. That has not changed with El. Naturally people would feel more drawn to her, so it still surprises Cass when the people here greet her warmly.

The small band strikes up a warm, slow tune. El pulls her close, sways them side to side. Cassandra loses her ability to breathe properly for a moment. El looks like a deity made flesh in the glow of the floating lights. She follows the motion, allows herself to sink into the moment. Her friend smiles, no smirk, no giggle. It is just this gentle smile that makes Cassandra's heart melt. She cannot stop staring at El's lips.

"This is good." El murmurs, eyes sparkling oh so beautifully.

Cassandra blinks, smiles softly. The moment is peaceful, the music disappears somewhere in the background. Her vision solely focuses on the woman in front of her. She wets her lips, leans down slightly, stops. El is not drawing back, is only gazing at her with that same hunger she saw before. Her heart leaps into her throat. She feels dizzy, but still gathers her courage to lean in further. This time she will not deny herself.

Someone knocks into her, jostles the both of them. Startled they draw apart, attention drawn to the lights exploding in the skies. The moment is broken and Cassandra's sudden bout of courage withers. Now is not the time, perhaps there never will be.

They watch the lights late into the night. Later they return to the palace, hands intertwined, but quiet. Cass does not wish to talk about it. The moment they are past the entrance she politely excuses herself, flees to her chambers. She is hiding, just for the rest of the night, maybe also for most of the next day if she gets the chance. She discards the suit in a corner, switches it for a loose shirt and shorts. Sleep does not come easy though, time slowed and sluggish. It is a bit maddening. 

Right about when Cassandra thinks she will go insane, there is a knock on her door. When she opens it she comes face to face with El. The woman has her arms slung around herself. She seems haunted. 

"I couldn't sleep. Can I stay with you?" The words are barely a murmur. They have vulnerability woven into every syllable.

Cassandra nods wordlessly, steps aside to let her in. El hooks their pinkies together before she has even stepped into the room. Cass lets her lead. Once they have reached the bed, she slips beneath the covers, makes space for the El. Her friend does not hesitate, tugs herself into her arms until they fit together like missing pieces. El breathes once, twice, burrows a bit deeper into Cassandra's shoulder.

"I keep thinking they will lock me away again. I don't want to lose this, my own home made with my own freedom."

She tenses a bit at the words. They summon an underlying sort of anger, only overshadowed by the burning need to protect this woman from her fears. Cassandra holds her tighter, gently presses a kiss to the top of her head. She hopes her message is clear. 'I won't ever let that happen to you.' In return El presses a kiss to her shoulder. It feels right, like it is supposed to be that way. Cass finds no guilt or fear in this moment, only the familiarity of the woman next to her. They fall asleep like this, limbs tangled comfortably. 

The morning comes and there are no questions, only content, sleepy smiles. Something has changed and it cannot be said that any of them seem to mind.

Seasons pass and the small village slowly, but steadily becomes the kingdom of Umbra, welcoming to anyone who seeks a new home. It is not the only thing that changes. Gradually, Cassandra's quarters become El's as well. It starts out small, a few pieces of clothes left in the closet. It keeps going and going until most of her quarters are filled with drawings and small trinkets. They fall asleep curled into each other. They wake curled around each other. It is perfectly blissful.

They get word of a disturbance close to their borders months later. Cassandra has horses saddled and within an hour a small troop, El and her are making their way through the dense forest. After two hours they do not seem to find anything except the traces of a smaller group, but they cannot follow the traces for long. It feels awfully like a setup. 

Cassandra's breath hitches at the thought. A setup, it has to be. Just as she is about to turn to El, something knocks her out of her saddle. Her body hits the ground with a heavy thud, chest aching from the impact. Her vision blurs, people and colors swirling into one intangible mass. There are the sounds of a scuffle, a booted foot on her back. She blinks a few times, tastes dirt in her mouth. El is somewhere off to the side, her hair just in the edge of her vision like rising smoke. There is the crack of armored bodies hitting trees, pained groans. Panic spikes as realization hits. Whoever this group belongs to, they are here for El. Cassandra pushes upwards and the magic follows. 

The black rocks erupt from the ground, throw the person over her off balance. She uses the distraction to whirl around, the heel of her hand cracking against a nose. The figure stumbles back, golden sunlight catching on a golden breastplate. Her eyes widen. It cannot be. She turns, quick, in the direction she thinks El to be in. The woman has several guards wrapped in her hair, pulled tight enough to choke them. She is snarling. Even like this she looks divine.

There is movement behind her, a presence to her side. Cass wheels around, is met with the sad and tired eyes of none other than Eugene Fitzherbert.

"Sunshine, this isn't you. Come home." He sounds as desperate as he did all those seasons ago. 

Cassandra's heart aches for him, just a small part of it. The other part is begging 'Please anything but this'. 

El releases the guards at last, chest heaving with her breaths. Beneath the anger she looks impressed, perhaps Eugene's ongoing determination is getting through. It hurts to think that only he could truly get through to her when Cass has been there the entire time. Though, El just smiles that sweet smile of hers, the one she gets when she does not wish to snap at somebody for being obviously wrong.

"I am home." Her reply is as dry as can be, as if she were merely stating a fact. 

Eugene looks hurt for only a moment before his features harden. He has changed with the years. Cassandra sees it in the way he holds himself now, in the way the guards look at him for guidance. 

"Then you leave me no choice."

There is a nod, more movement. A click, a glint in the sunlight. Cassandra moves before it fully registers, presses her body into El's with all the force she can manage. A gasp, bodies hitting the forest floor. Her head cracks against the ground, body suddenly heavy. Blackness is encroaching the edges of her vision. If this is to be her end she hopes it will not be El's.

Her consciousness returns steadily, bit by bit. First she is aware of her own body, the soreness of it. Then the silk sheets on her skin, the cool air in her lungs. Lastly, the lips pressed against her forehead and the hot tears on her cheeks that are not her own.

"Please. You can't leave me." It is El's voice, drenched in so much vulnerability that Cassandra fears she will choke on it.

Her hand twitches, shakes with the effort it takes her to have it cup El's cheek. The woman in question startles, then presses closer. Cass can feel her exhale in relief. These lips press to her forehead once more, to the lids of her eyes, her cheeks and stop just short of the corner of her mouth.

"I thought I lost you. You wouldn't wake for days, even after the incantation and a healer's visit. I was so worried." The vulnerability has not left her voice. 

When Cass blinks her eyes open she sees fear reflected in El's. She musters a smile, swallows against a dry throat.

"You are not getting rid of me that quickly." Her voice sounds rough, gritty like sandpaper.

El pulls away, only a fraction, but Cassandra immediately feels the cold creeping into the space created between them. She mourns the warmth.

"Do you promise?"

Cassandra remains silent, struck speechless for a moment. It is enough for El to withdraw further still.

"Do you promise me that you will never leave?" There is an edge to her words, something more than the obvious vulnerability. It is something darker, something that can be overlooked.

Cassandra swallows, draws a breath. "I promise I will never leave you."

It slides over her tongue, oily like a lie. It is no lie, at least she prays it will not turn into one. She hopes the darkness around El is one that everyone carries, can probably convince herself that El is merely brave enough to show it at all.

Her friend smiles wide, there is lightness there. Her arms wrap around Cassandra, careful not to do harm. There is softness there. Perhaps she is only imagining things, maybe Eugene got to her head and now the doubt has taken root. El chose her, chose her to confide in. She will not betray such trust merely because something about her has changed. El presses another kiss to the corner of her lips, lingers there. It would be so easy to turn now, make their lips meet, but Cassandra is still tired. She can barely keep her eyes open at this point. It does not take long before darkness has claimed her yet again.

Cass next wakes without El besides her. It is not unusual, but still odd. Usually she can feel the other woman's presence within the palace, usually El is always close. Her hands grip the edge of the bed, pushing herself off. If El is not here she will simply search for her. 

Cassandra's steps echo through mostly barren halls. Even with the years that have passed, they never quite got around to decorate the rooms that were not in daily use. Her lungs ache a little from extortion, muscles tense with the strength it takes for her to stay upright. At last, after some more wandering, she finds El atop her throne. Moonlight frames the dark stone, her eyes shine bright like bursting stars in the dark. A table is placed before her, map spread across it. Upon further inspection Cassandra realizes it it is a map of Corona.

El grins when she spots her, it is more feral than kind.

"Cass, I thought you were resting." The grin is not quite slipping, but something changes about it. Cassandra, always the coward in such a situation, will not call it adoration. "I wanted to tell you tomorrow, but telling you now is no problem as well."

El motions toward the map, to the elaborate lines and the notes written in the margin. From this angle it looks a lot like she is planning for a war.

"What is it that you wish to show me?"

"The preparations for war of course!" Why does she sound so cheery?

"Why?" The question tumbles from her lips. There is no reason, is there? They are happy here.

"Aren't you tired?"

Cassandra still does not understand. El huffs in annoyance, rises from her throne.

"They keep taking from us, even after years. They think my freedom is something to be reclaimed by them. They deny me freedom. Have they never denied you anything?"

It hits perhaps where it should. There is anger that claws at her throat. She was denied, ever since she was young. There were no places for her by her mothers side, there were no places for her within the kingdom aside from being a maid in waiting. Waiting. That was all she had done there and people were comfortable with it as long as they were not kept waiting. Something within her chest sparks, something that makes El smile with unbridled glee.

"They will never deny us again. We are gods, Cassandra. If they did not see it they will when we raze their cities, take what they think is theirs, when it has never belonged to them at all." She has crossed the distance between them, hand cupping Cassandra's cheek. Her eyes burn, burn, burn. 

Cass thinks she will burn with her and knows that she cannot deny her. It makes sense, forcing the people to see what their actions cause. There are consequences that were a long time coming, let it be through this. Let them know how it is to be denied.

Cassandra nods wordlessly. El throws her arms around her, presses her lips to Cass'. It is quick, sudden in a way that it strikes her motionless.

"You understand me. That is why I love you, Cass."

Something within her breaks, a dam maybe, or perhaps her heart, just a little. El is looking at her, hopeful. The words stick in her throat, they stay there. She cannot speak old truths with new revelations. Is El still Rapunzel? Does she love the same woman? The notion of El loving her, but Rapunzel not even seeing her more as a friend hurts. She swallows it down, swallows the words with it. She does not have them yet, but her body is still hers. Her action can still speak. 

Cassandra pitches forward, falls into El for the kiss. There is the slide of lips, hands that roam skin where shirts have ridden up. El pulls at her hair, marks a trail down her throat. Air rushes past her lips in a hasty exhale. Her own hands have found purchase against El's back. It should not feel as exhilarating as it does, but there are lips against her skin, leaving marks. There is proof someone chose her and Cassandra clings to it, lets the feeling wash over her until there is heat pushing at her skin. She is burning and El does not appear to be stopping anytime soon. 

El is greedy in a way, quick to roam and explore. Cassandra is greedy too, because she revels in it happening and thinks, 'This moment is mine, mine, mine.'

They remain greedy, in hallways, hidden spots around the city and the flickering candlelight of their rooms. It is enjoyable in between the times they rally the people. Their subjects deserve more as well, shunned from the kingdoms for one thing or the other. They see the injustice in this world and just like their rulers they are greedy to change it after it has been brought to their attention. Their fighters are willing, trained by none other than Cassandra to know the weakness of Corona's guards. El knows all the ways to get to the palace without being seen. They will take what is theirs, as the gods they were meant to be.

The travel takes them months, all of them filled with that sort of restless energy. They are waiting, like starved wolves, to finally feast on what belongs to them. They take out the first scout when they are only a week away from Corona, their army already split into five smaller groups to appear less like a threat. So far nobody has tried to stop them. Cassandra returns El's feral grin with one of her own, moonstone and sundrop thrumming within their chests.

The sewers of Corona have not changed, still rat filled and reeking. They hide Cassandra and El well enough, until they stand within the throne room. There is darkness creeping along the edges of the palace, fights going on on the outside. Their plan is executed perfectly, a surprise to all, a betrayal to none. They should have simply seen it coming. The king and queen are fleeing, eyes still almost as clouded as they were the day back then. The guards circle them, weapons pulled, but have yet to attack.

Of course it is Eugene who intervenes yet again. The armor of the royal guard suits him, in a way that makes Cassandra's blood boil just a little. He is always taking pieces that should belong to her. She snarls at him, but he does not take the bait. He does not even flinch.

"Don't you see what is happening. This is not Rapunzel anymore!" It is the first time he is addressing her instead of El. Somewhere next to him the wall begins to collapse in on itself.

Cassandra glares at him. He has been accusing her ever since and now, that that is not working in his favor he tries to test her loyalty. Though, surprisingly it is not her who answers. El whips forward, snarls like a beast released from its cage.

"You will not take her from me!" She roars, hands snapping forward to wind into Eugene's collar before he can react. The darkness has crept further, now curls around every move.

Cassandra is surprised, Eugene looks determined still. Even when El hurls him through the wall that has crumbled previously. It is where the illusion breaks first. Whatever happens, she would never hurt Eugene. Why now? The guards gasp, spring into action. Though El is quick to push them back, Cassandra is glad to trap them in cages of black stone. The illusion keeps cracking as she follows El outside. 

Corona lays in tatters. This is not them, is it? They wanted people to see, not to end lives. El continues to advance on Eugene. He is not moving, he should be moving. Why is he not moving? El is careless, lifts him by the collar like a broken doll. They did not want to kill people did they? Does she want Eugene to die for this? If El does not stop for Eugene, her fiance, will she stop for her parents, her friends? Would she stop for Cassandra?

"Wait!" She does not want this. Does El?

The woman in question whirls around, still holding Eugene. The light has vanished from her eyes. She looks cold. Why is she still smiling at Cassandra?

"We don't want this, do we? We don't kill."

"They will not listen if we don't. They will never understand if we don't."

Cassandra swallows, bites down the tears and the hopeless anguish. Who is this person?

"I cannot stand with you if you do."

That smile slips into a grimace, all twisting fury and warped disgust.

"Please... We can go home. We can forget this. This isn't worth it." She prays El understands. If she understands El, the woman has to understand her, right?

"It is." The words are a hiss. Eugene's body drops to the ground. He groans in pain and for a moment Cass is relieved. "And it is a shame that you cannot see that."

There is a hand cupping her cheek. It feels cold, distracts from the hand on her collarbone a second too long. There is a pull, a tear and then it is gone. Cassandra gasps, falls forward into the waiting arms of someone who in the end, does not choose her. The terrible scent of smoke fills her nostrils. She is choking. El is still holding her, even as one of her hands pushes the moonstone where the sundrop should be.

There is another sensation of something leaving, a bright light that stretches across the skies until Cassandra fears this is the end of all. After, there is simply something missing and she is tired. The fighting has stopped, she feels the attention shift to them. Above her, El... it is not El. 

Above her, cradling Cassandra's head as gently as possibly, is Rapunzel, with her brown hair and green eyes. For the first time she has to concentrate to listen, catches the last parts of a whispered incantation. There are tears scorching her skin. She does not know if they are her own.

Rapunzel is still looking at her, stricken and lost.

"No, please... Not you. I cannot lose you."


	3. Act III Desideratum Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Cassandra is in some form of denial for five years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter up and done. Only one left to go before this comes to a close. I hope you have been enjoying it so far.
> 
> Have I also mentioned that I have a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5BsQWU0eTmZcw9gd8xuwE8?si=6sbXsHjjRtasvONVXL_Bvg) for this one? It may be an absolute mess, but it is mine.

The Sundrop and Moonstone are gone, although their mortal counterparts remain. Rapunzel sleeps, it vaguely reminds her of a story of an eternally sleeping princess. It is unfair, she thinks. Cassandra does not know why it is Rapunzel who sleeps, why it is Rapunzel who lies within the bed far too still than Cass is used to. She knows she should be dead, maybe, though the bond would not let her. Perhaps she is still needed for something, but it cannot be here.

She is not quite pardoned, though not quite locked away. Eugene looks torn every time he sees her, like he too does not know how to handle this situation. The kingdom of Umbra will receive a council to see over them, or so Cassandra has heard last. The future is nothing but uncertain, destinies tangled and knotted in such ways that perhaps only cutting them could be of true help.

Cassandra knows she cannot stay, amid the guilt and those who look at her and still see treason. The places she has carved herself here have crumbled, withered beneath the right wrong decisions that have led up to this singular point. There is a heaviness in her chest, the steadily curling knowledge that this is not her home anymore.

She does not think as she throws together what little has remained of her existence. It fits in a single bag, after she has dug through her weapons of course. She has never been good with goodbyes, not face to face. There is a letter for her father, a letter for Eugene and of course one for Rapunzel. The letter is still burning in her pocket as she stands before the princess’ room. It should not be as difficult as it is, but Cassandra still feels the promise heavy in her heart.

‘I will never leave you’ 

The promise is breaking, because they cannot heal when they keep being in each other space, when one has such a clear destiny while the other is scrambling for one. She breathes deep, pushes the door open.

The envelope feels heavy when she grasps it in her hands. Is even heavier when Raps is awake within in her bed, now staring at Cassandra with such longing that it cracks her heart open down the middle.

“I cannot stay.”, she says in lieu of a greeting. It is better to make it quick, like ripping off a band-aid.

“No!” Rapunzel topples forward, presses close with what little strength she has. It might be love, it might be the parts of Rapunzel that still are not quite her own. Cassandra fears that it is another illusion she will fall into if she only dares to stay.

Cassandra is the one to pull away, the one to choose distance over this familiar closeness. She is already leaving parts of her heart here, in this room.

“Take your time to heal. We can speak clealry when I have returned” She has to tear the words from her throat and even then they tremble with how unsure she is.

“But I-”

“Goodbye, Raps.” In a last selfish act she presses her lips to the brunettes forehead, lingers there for a moment to memorize all that matters. She does not know when… if she will return. She does not leave the letter.

So, she walks away, her heart aching because it is torn between the one she has gifted it to and her own chest. It tugs and pulls, desperate for her to stay, because this does not feel right.

Cassandra barely makes it past the border of the city before her legs give out, body trembling with heaving breaths. She is weak still, weaker now that her emotions have wrapped around her throat to be wrought out in garbled sobs. She is just losing home after home after home, leaving behind pieces of herself and people who maybe never pick them up to keep.

Just when she can breathe again, she drags herself further, past the villages and into the forest. She has to walk, walk, walk away. She is a coward, perhaps running like this has always been within her blood. Her body gives out two more hours down the line, back propped against a tree. She will rest here, just for a while. 

The first months pass just like that. It makes her angry, how weak she has gotten. Cassandra can only travel a few hours per day before the exhaustion will drag her down. Often she has pushed herself further and woken up with her face in the dirt. Perhaps it would help if she could eat or sleep properly, though it is hard to keep anything down when the guilt gnaws at her. On the bad days she thinks she does not even deserve this, the food and protection of the kingdom she almost laid waste to. On the better days, her nightmares will wake her, but her body still moves forward. There is a slow decay within her existence and for some moments she thinks ‘Let the earth take me.’ before her heart aches in her rib cage and she remembers, someone may be waiting at the end of all this.

Cassandra does not even know where she is going at first. There is only walking and surviving, and even that is only managed barely. There is a time she rests in a cave, finds it occupied by a bear later. Her arm trembles when she picks up the sword. This is not the war, but when she raises the weapon she sees herself striking Rapunzel. Cassandra halts and the bear strikes first.

She loses more blood than she should and still is not dying, is still breathing when the moonlight whispers to her, sings her to sleep with the promise of everything turning out well, turning out healed. Cassandra loses days in her delirium, in the way remnant magic just pours from her. 

‘You can’t die. Not yet, not yet, not yet.”, it chants. 

The wound scabs, scars and Cassandra remains, worse for wear and still bone tired. It is not the last run in with wild life and every time she cannot fight, can only hurt and think this is her penance. The magic stays, like a reminder of what she is, what she has done with it. One cannot be the embodiment of a cosmic force without some of it staying, even when it leaves. Sometimes it makes her want to claw at her own skin. 

A year passes like that, empty, cold and somewhat broken. All Cassandra has to show for it are scars without a story and a sword she is still too scared to wield. She thinks of giving up for a few days, when her breath rattles in her chest like old ghosts. It does not stick of course, and later she is still alive, with more scars to show for it.

It is the beginning of the second year of her travels when she finds others, people who are running like her. They seem less aimless, less like someone fumbling for a destiny that has no name. They are artists, beast tamers, acrobats and former thieves. All of them huddled together in their small caravan of a traveling circus.

Cassandra does not know why she goes to watch the show that first night. Maybe it is the lights or the lively atmosphere that draw her in like a moth to flame. There are children, people laughing. It feels carefree, this one night already lighter than the year she has lost finding herself. This has its own kind of magic, the one created by atmosphere and a want to create. It is perhaps illusion, but true magic has prices so high Cassandra does not wish them upon anyone else.

Afterwards she just stays, the crew does not ask questions at first. They think she is a new performer, realize she is none when her only trick of cutting an apple in eight perfect pieces drives her near tears. They pity her at first, at least Cass thinks so. Why else would they let her stay? She brings nothing to the show, albeit their animals take to her and soon she is helping Thiago with his daily workload. There is a grin on his face when she helps the first time, one that remains even as days pass. It only widens when she returns it with one of her own one day.

The next Cassandra warms up to is Ophelia, an acrobat with a penchant for stunts that involve flames. Cass helps her once and promptly mourns her hair.

“Don’t pout, sweetling, it does not even look that bad.” Ophelia is giggling, the sound warm and bright. She cannot quite believe her when she sees her reaching for the pair of scissors she keeps on her nightstand.

Cassandra believes her even less when there is more than half of her hair gone and Ophelia still keeps cutting away. The end result is hair so short one can barely cart their hand through. But she finds she likes it. It suits her somehow. It helps to see herself in mirrors, that blue hair gone, brunette locks short and nothing like they used to be. There are no flickers of who she almost has turned into. She still cannot lift her sword.

Bit by bit she gets to know this small traveling family. They are tight knit, but they still open up, let her in as if she had been there from the very beginning. 

And for a while that is enough, she can ignore the shaking in her hands when there is the flash and sound of steel. Cassandra does not have to remember why she is here when she is helping Thiago with his beasts. She does not realize how long it has been, how far away she already is from Corona until they reach Nesdernia.

It almost has been another year, gone like that. Raps must worry. The old guilt and shame return with a vengeance. It makes Cassandra’s stomach churn until she has composed a letter with shaking hands. It is nothing of substance, this mere written apology detailing that she will not return just yet. It feels empty, a bit like a lie. She cannot pinpoint why.

What Cassandra can pinpoint is the fact that these newfound friends are running from something, just like she does. They just don’t seem to realize that they are. Once she has realized it, Cass can never not think about it. She notices things now.

Ophelia sometimes looks at the children safely embraced by their mothers during shows and her eyes will darken with that heavy sort of sad regret. She does not talk about it.

Thiago keeps to a strict schedule, rising with the sun and going to sleep the same time it does. He keeps lights on him in case he does not manage to do that. There is this halting fear to his movements when shadows creep along further than they should. He too does not speak about it.

They are all running and simply because they have found themselves a family here, it does not mean that they have ever stopped running. It is exhausting upon realizing it. She has not been healing, has not been coping. She still cannot hold her sword and it is frustrating. Cassandra has to get better, not to return home, but for herself. She does not want to continue feeling like she will topple off the edge of the world every time she takes another step in any direction.

She makes the decision to stop running once they reach Ingvarr. It is the farthest she has been from home, all way across the ocean. Cassandra can still feel the tug in her chest. Half of her heart is still not hers and will forever remain with one person. If she cannot return, then perhaps she can learn how to get used to the ache. She knows her heart will never fully belong to her anymore. The only question is how much of it will be left to herself when she has found what she is looking for.

What exactly is she looking for?

Stepping foot into the kingdom of Ingvarr itself does not yield immediate answers. The customs are different, the language even more so. They are a people of warriors, but so very kind still. It is perhaps a little stiff, a little jagged. Cassandra cannot say she minds. There is familiarity to it, something she has missed within the two years of aimlessly wandering the world.

She finds work, at first, helping farmers with heavy tasks. It is exhausting in the good kind of way. For once she is not tired because of running from something. Though bringing bags of produce from point A to B, unsurprisingly, does not yield answers in ways that matter.

It only begins to make sense when she meets the queen of Ingvarr, now years later after the first time they crossed paths. They are both older, more worn by time. The queen still a queen and Cassandra, well, she is no lady in waiting anymore, but she certainly is no knight either.

“Cassandra, what has brought you this far from home?” The question rings heavy, though it is in no way judgmental.

Despite that, Cassandra still cannot come up with a reply that seems satisfactory. There has to be something still, because the queen gives a solemn nod. There is a silence that seems to stretch endlessly before she speaks again.

“You may stay to find your place here.” It is final, an offer or perhaps a decision not to be questioned.

The first days pass in a blur, quick yet slow. She stays at the barracks, among warriors and weapons. Cassandra knows she should like it, but there is still that inkling of guilt. This is what she has wanted before, the official training and possibility to be anything else than someone who waits. The cost seems high, to find ones destiny only after so much has been lost. She could have done things differently, could she not? A selfish part of her whispers that if she just had managed to coax El into staying in Umbra instead of seeking revenge, then perhaps she would not have lost anything. 

Another part wails that they would just have lost each other, one way or the other. 

The acceptance of that does not help with the nightmares, only fuels them it seems. Cass will wake, sobs clogging her throat. It is always the same, she will lose, fail Rapunzel in all the ways that matter. In her dreams her hands are always stained red.

Her bunk mates ask her about it at first, before accepting that she will not speak on it. After, they give her space. It does not help either, the dreams continue and Cassandra barely manages to breathe properly during the early morning training sessions.

Maybe this is her retribution, her destiny here, but not hers anymore. She should not be here, does not deserve it.

Cassandra’s chest heaves with ragged breaths. The air is heavy, like lead. Her eyes are burning with unshed tears. She cannot keep doing this, cannot fight and fight and fight in all the ways that should matter and still feel like there has something been torn from her chest. She writes another letter to Rapunzel that night, ink stained fingers filling the page with words that beg for forgiveness. She cannot come back, not yet when each of her jagged soul could cut others when they wish to help.

‘Coward.’ A certain part of her whispers. She tries not to listen.

The next day, Cassandra steels herself. Her voice does not waver as she asks to officially join the training, no holds barred. They have been careful with her, but that has to stop now if she ever plans on getting better.

She eats dirt far more often than she would like to admit within the first few weeks of boot camp. There is a constant burn in her muscles, a soreness to her body. The dreams do not get better, but they do not keep her awake anymore either. Her body is too tired most of these days.

It takes months, but Cassandra begins to feel like herself again. Her hands shake less when she is holding a sword now, but she is still weak. Simply because the moonstone has been gone does not mean that her body has recovered. She is getting it back though, these parts of her old self.

She trains with the warriors, eats with them, makes connections with the instructors . There is Kallan, who will not hold back during the combat training, but is less stiff and more on the joking side. She enjoys the fighting, finds it amusing every time she manages to rile Cassandra up.

There is Nysse, too. A woman Cassandra believed too gentle at first, but she is more of a warrior than most of them. She is strict when she has to be, but it is usually overshadowed by near motherly care.

Linnea is more volatile, perhaps she even despises Cassandra a little bit. It is difficult to tell, though she tends to aim for more vital parts whenever they train. She never joins the group during break time while Cass is there as well.

There are others as well of course, but Cassandra never quite catches their name before they finish boot camp whereas Cassandra remains. It is the same instructors, the same tasks every month, but the groups will always change. Cass learns a lot, even when she is has her face pressed to the ground more often than once. There are ways to figure out how someone will move in battle and she is finally picking up on that. 

The first time she wins a friendly spar, she grins, elated and so, so light. She finally feels like herself again, at least somewhat. Nysse looks proud. Linnea on the other hands looks like she ate something vile. Cassandra can live with that. People do not have to like her in order to train with her. In the end she still feels like she belongs, for the time being, here.

She regains her strength, breathes a little easier each night. The ache within her chest remains, a reminder of whom she promised to return to. Cassandra is not ready, not yet. She feels too broken, too jagged around the edges still. She will be herself, or not return at all, refuses to return to Rapunzel as a husk, riddled with guilt and shame.

It is Kallan who notices, though it is Linnea who offers to help. It is hidden within scathing remarks, in sneers and bloody fists. There is a blade that nicks her brow, a fist that splits her lip. The scars remain, but there is ease to the ways she will fight Linnea. The others offer words, someone to listen to and Cassandra is grateful, she is, but talking has never been her strong suit. She speaks through actions, understands through actions. Words can mean so little if one does not act upon them after all.

Linnea still despises her, maybe only loathes her on the better days. It is a grudging kind of respect drawn out between cracked ribs and bloody noses. It is a language Cassandra understands, respect through action. It feels distinctly like home, a form of it at least.

After eight months she finally joins the official guard. She dons the armor, the weapons and her hands are not shaking. She feels sure, certain, but there is still so much missing. She cannot go home.

“Coward.”, that voice hisses again. It is partly the truth.

She sends another letter to Corona, another apology, another excuse. It feels wrong, wrong, wrong, but Cassandra cannot do right, not yet.

So she goes on missions, joins the patrols. She learns the city inside and out, sees the kingdom in all its beauty, protects it even and it still does not feel right. It feels a lot like a home in the wrong place. She knows that, knows why, but can she even go back at this point? So much time has passed, surely there is no one waiting for her anymore. Her heart gives a painful lurch at that, that bit of remnant magic sparking to life in protest.

‘Lies, lies!’, it cries, ‘She is waiting. Go back, go back. You have to return to her.”

Cassandra denies it, refuses so vehemently that her chest will ache for hours each time she does. She will stay here and grow into a person that deserves to stand besides Rapunzel. She will be good, tear the very root of selfish desires from her very being before returning.

It is almost funny then, that a complete change in character does not convince her to return. No, it is not the yearning, nor is it Cassandra beginning to believe. It is a bear, a bear that strikes her when she accidentally wanders too close to its cave and cubs. A fucking bear, like she just started her journey all over again. She is gasping for breath when claws tear through her back. She is laughing to herself when the patrol finds her.

It is the blood loss, has to be, maybe. Or she is dying a madwoman after all. Being attacked by a bear, twice in her life. The universe has an interesting way of telling her that she is not making the right decisions.

Cassandra is not allowed to leave her bed for the next two weeks as Kallan and Nysse both take turns watching her. They might would have been persuaded to let her wander around, had she not tried to join the training session just two days after waking up. They make her drink tea and sleep, as if Cassandra would be so careless to overwork herself. Then again, they are most likely right.

It takes her months to heal properly, even then the scars on her back are still tender.

“Don’t worry about the scar, Cassi. I heard women like ‘em.” Kallan mentions it in passing as she sneaks food off of Nysse’s plate during dinner.

Cassandra chokes on her vegetables, Nysse smiles kindly. Kallan cackles about having seen her watching the warriors a bit too long sometimes. Things are good, even though Kallan sees this instance as an open invitation for teasing. The betrayal here is that Nysse never once stops her. The even bigger one is that Linnea finds it just as amusing as the others. Of course her misery would be why all of them come together like this.

It makes saying goodbye all the more difficult. This does feel like a home, one she knows will be open to her even after she has left. This is it. Cassandra almost died twice because of a bear. She is certainly not waiting around for a third time to view it as a sign to return to Rapunzel. She is also tired of denying herself. This way she will at least have tried. Her heart can break in peace when she gets rejected.

She promises to visit once in a while and if she cannot she will at least write letters. Kallan threatens that if she does not they will personally hunt her down. It is a threat to be taken seriously. Cassandra grins, nods and almost forgets to take a horse for the journey in her haste to get back to the other half of her heart.

Luckily she does not get attacked by a bear this time, reaching the harbor safe and sound. There are a few ships departing for Corona, though only so few willing to let her tag along for work instead of coin. Nevertheless she finds herself on a ship, the wind in her hair, the taste of salt on her lips.

On the open ocean her heart sings within her chest, bright and elated.

‘Finally. Finally we are going back home to her.’


	4. Act III Desideratum Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five years sure are an awful lot of time to pine ft. Rapunzel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this an early present for the holidays? Yes, it definitely is. 
> 
> Happy Holidays to y'all, even though I am like two days early.

Rapunzel feels something break when Cassandra says goodbye. It cannot even be called that. There is no reason, no explanation why she is leaving now. She tries to stumble after her friend… lover (?)… companion and only finds an empty hallway when her legs finally follow her commands. Her heart aches where it is trapped between her ribs.

Blindly she stumbles towards Cass’ quarters. She cannot have left, not yet, not now. The door slams open in a flurry and for a moment she expects to find her there. It is shockingly empty. The trinkets and most of the weapons have been left behind, but Cassandra’s presence is gone. The room feels more like a relic. Its life has been taken somewhere else and Rapunzel wants to scream at the unfairness of it. She keeps losing the people that matter to her and it just hurts.

Her fingers twist into the duvet of the bed, her shoulders shake. She does not cry, feels too exhausted to do so if she is being honest with herself. Sadness is not even the first emotion that bubbles to the surface. There is frustration and anger too. Why is Cassandra running from this? Why should their destinies part like this? She almost anticipated this, the self-sabotage, but she had hoped, foolishly, that Cass would remain nonetheless.

It clings to her, the anger, and she lets it, holds it firmly within her hands. She goes days like this, weeks, her recovery slow, but what else is she to do. She cannot go after Cassandra, can barely walk the halls of the castle without having to take breaks. There are times she thinks she is getting better, clearing things with Eugene, her parents, the people of Corona. It is always two steps forward, one back. She will take part in the audiences, help the people and still they flinch when they see her on the street.

Eugene speaks to her at least. They talk about love, about dreams, about the endings that seem so inevitable now. They try to return to where they once where. Rapunzel owes this to herself? To him? To Cassandra? If she is honest with herself she does not know whom she owes this to. Who could possibly gain anything from this anymore?

She wants to go back to that first day of relearning her family, perhaps even further. Go back to the time in the tower, escape herself, meet Cassandra first. Fall in love with Cassandra first. Perhaps she would not feel this torn if things had turned out differently.

There are dates, time spend together that does not quite feel right. Eugene is still with the royal guard, different now and she herself is just getting back to being the princess. It seems… not quite wrong, a little bit more like their dreams have changed. They are not each others dream anymore, are they? That hurts too, is a constant ache. Her heart is bruised with all the love that is running out.

So Rapunzel tries to cling to that anger some more, tries to have it overshadow the pain long enough for her to function to some degree. The problem with that is how it is a gateway for the ‘voice’ to return, whispering those poisonous words. She will see El in the mirror, smirking like she simply has to wait to take over again. She refuses to go down that path again, clings to the more colorful dresses she has to remind herself that this is her. Her own body, soul, thoughts. They belong to her, not El, whatever poisoned part that might have been.

She lets go of the anger then, on her own terms. There are still things that need to be said, talks to be had of boundaries, of repairing that what once was whole. Rapunzel begins with her family first, the parts that are not missing at least.

It is a long year, one without Cass. A year of recovery, of remnant parts of the sundrop scarring her heart with its yearning. It is a year without letters or word of Cassandra. A year of sleeping in her bed, because it still smells like her at least and if she pretends hard enough she can feel the ghosts of an embrace. It is familiar until that disappears too with each day of absence.

It feels real then, the knowledge that Cassandra might never come back, that she left without knowing how Rapunzel feels. Is this just another chance lost? Will they turn into strangers along the way, just people passing in the street? Will Cassandra find someone else, someone who does not need a war to realize how they feel? The possibility has shards digging into her heart.

It turns out, her first year without Cassandra feels a lot like heartbreak.

The second year sees the heartbreak turn into a dull, aching throb. Rapunzel works on herself, her relationship with others. She rebuilds and builds anew. Each day is a struggle with guilt and the anger the people still carry. There are those who prefer to remain blind, the ones that blame the magic, the ones that blame Cassandra. She corrects them when she can, shoulders the parts of the blame that are hers. El was still Rapunzel in a way, was all those bundled up wants made flesh in the greediest of ways. Some will listen, others still carry their contempt.

This time at least, she does receive a letter from Cassandra. It has her throat close up, has her eyes burn with tears that are yet to be shed. Eugene is with her, hand a reassuring weight against the small of her back.

“Good news I hope.” He tries to keep the smile in his voice, but there is doubt, sadness too.

Rapunzel chokes on a sob. It is good news. Cassandra being well should be good news, but she is not coming home. She stays with a traveling circus. She is not coming home. Cassandra has found some form of new family. She still is not coming back.

“I don’t understand. How does one give you their heart and then just leave? Why did she not want to keep mine?”

“Oh sunshine…” He draws her close, wraps her into an embrace that is still filled with such love, just different. “There are people like you, who willingly present their hearts and then there is people like Cass and I. People like us are not well versed in love. We don’t know how to give it back without thinking it might break something in the process. Does that make sense?”

She hates that it somehow does, because it is just cruel to know how terrible Cassandra must be to herself without being able to do anything against it. Rapunzel cannot even send a letter, there is no return address, not even the name of the circus. It is unfair, painful.

The tears finally fall and Eugene stays until she has no tears left to cry. He does not stay for the rest of the year. He leaves, too. There is a kingdom he has to tend to, a father he wishes to get to know. He asked if he should rather stay, smiled his charming smile and she had shaken her head. She would not keep him from his own destiny that is now not tangled with hers anymore.

She cannot fault him for that, for wanting to find the man beyond the one who saved a princess.

So, her second year is different from the heartbreak of the first. It is just that the waiting hurts in all the different ways that cut a bit too deep.

Rapunzel throws herself at new tasks. It works well to distract herself. Politics are easier to grasp when one has the imminent threat of hours of sad yearning being the alternative looming over their head. Though that does not keep it away. She still dreams after all, but at least her days are not haunted like they have been in the first two years. Breathing gets easier, if only because she does not think about Cassandra every hour of the day. She still thinks about her, a lot. More so when she travels to the nearby kingdoms to celebrate alliances and such. Her gaze will sweep over the people of the crowd in the hopes of catching a glimpse of her. It does not happen of course. She never expected to the woman to stay this close when she was so intent on running, but one can dream.

On the bright side, Rapunzel can now participate in the annual festivities again without people regarding her like a ticking time bomb. She even joins the Goodwill Gopher Grab this year, though she does not catch the gopher.

She feels herself slowly but surely return to the person she was before. She is not the same of course, she has aged, matured. Rapunzel is not the eighteen year old girl with her heart opened to all of the world. She protects it a little more now, is still kind, but her words are chosen more careful. Rapunzel is more aware of their power now, that unbridled kindness can destroy just as much as it could build.

She still celebrates love, prepares gifts for her parents, Eugene, all their friends for the Day of Hearts. Love just comes in so many ways, she still does not see why she should limit it to one specific kind to honor today. There is a present for Cass as well. She wishes the woman were here, thinks of one of those fairy tale moments where the heroine returns just in time to confess their love. Of course this is not quite a fairy tale. Two days later she gets another letter, another excuse why the woman she would easily gift her own heart to has not returned home.

Apparently she is in Ingvarr now, finding new purpose in their teachings. The words are smudged, feel a bit like a white lie to keep Rapunzel happy. Perhaps she is finding new purpose there, but that does not feel like the true reason as to why she would not return.

Rapunzel still thinks about traveling there, about crossing an ocean to tell Cass to stop being so stubborn and just come home, to talk. Eugene is the one who stops her, visiting Corona because ‘even princes need vacations with their beautiful friends, sunshine.’. She almost screams at him, almost lets anger form her words into things that are not.

“Sunshine, remember, people like us have flighty hearts. She will get scared if she is not ready to hear what you have to say.”

She still hates that he is right. She is someone who solves things with words, with so much care that people who are not ready for it might suffocate under the attention. She cannot take that chance with Cassandra, they have missed their chance once. Rapunzel refuses to lose another one and if that means to be the one waiting, then so be it.

Eugene stays for a few more days, distracts her with his shenanigans until her heart feels less heavy during the day. Sometimes she feels guilty with how light she feels on the better days. She does not know if Cassandra is healing properly. Is she healing at all? Her now happiness feels like it has cost too much. Of course Eugene tries to distract her from that too. He looks at her like he knows. Of course he does. He has known her for years and that will not change simply because their relationship has changed.

So year three is one without the heartbreak, the yearning a mere underlying heartache as she returns to herself or rather turns into who she wishes to be.

The year after sees to it that she is busy. Her parents tell her when the first flowers bloom that spring, tell her she is the be crowned queen by the time summer has given up its harvest. For a moment she thinks her parents might be dying, because why else would she be made queen? Though they kindly explain that it merely feels like the right step to take here. The people have started to trust her again and her coronation should be something joyful instead of the day she mourns her parents. She does not quite feel ready, but she still has time to get used to that idea. She has months left between the now and then. She hopes Cassandra will return in time to see it.

Rapunzel almost writes her a letter to tell her, stops herself before it can be send. That would feel forced, would it not? Cassandra asked for this, she should not push until she knows Cass is ready. Patience has never been her strong suit, but she thinks she has gotten good at it in the last years.

So instead of sending the letter she wants to send, she sends letters she needs to send, invitations to the people of Corona. There still is the inkling of guilt, of wrongness. Everything just seems to be turning out swimmingly for her. The people have forgiven her when they will still murmur about Cassandra. She is still being crowned queen despite having lead a full assault against her own kingdom. Like this is a perfect fairy tale, like her story should just stop here. She will not let it.

Rapunzel will make amends that matter, will help Umbra when its people need guidance, will do anything to clear Cassandra’s name.

But first there are lessons to attend, more politics to learn. She is introduced to the finances of the kingdom, the inner workings of it. These are things she knew of, but has not been fully taught until now, when it is needed later. It seems an awful lot to learn. Some things she picks up on quickly, the things involving the people that is. Being a judge, keeping book of the gold that exchanges hands, seeing to the amount of crops that need to be grown to feed them through a year, those are logistics and laws she has yet to fully grasp. Rapunzel keeps notes just for that, so worried of making another mistake that could endanger her home.

She should probably speak to someone about that particular worry, later.

For now she is busy with classes and dress appointments. It is not that she does not like her old dress, the design that she has worn for so many years, worn as long as she can remember, but it does not feel like her anymore. There are ends to certain parts of her story, leaving behind the part of the story this belongs to is merely another step to something new.

This dress is of a deeper shade of purple, has more embroidery on the corset, but is without the puffs at the shoulders. It is flowing fabric, loose. It makes her feel like a queen without having to lose the parts that are undeniably her. For a time she feared that that might happen.

Now, there is a crown placed atop her head, glinting and heavy in the later afternoon sun. The people of Corona cheer, wish her a healthy and long reign. Her parents seem proud, she thinks her father might even be crying just a little.

The festivities start properly after the formalities. There is a banquet, dancing and so many congratulations that it feels like she spends most of the day with them. Eugene is by her side when that ends, glass in hand.

“How’s it feel, sunshine? All that ‘heavy is the head that wears the crown’ coming for you yet?” He gently nudges her side, takes a bite from some snack or the other that he must have snuck into his pocket. Old habits seem to die hard.

Rapunzel chuckles, allows her shoulders to relax. “Well, I wouldn’t know, since officially I am starting tomorrow.”

It feels easy, simple, until her gaze catches on the form of someone familiar. A figure that could be Cassandra and for a moment her heart leaps into her throat. The remnants of magic stir and resonate. For a heartachingly sweet minute it just sings, joyous. It is an ember of something that fizzles out the moment the figure turns. It is not Cassandra, just someone who could have been her.

That heartache turns sharp, turns her legs weak. She only does not fall, because Eugene steadies her.

“Easy there, sunshine. She might show up next year.”

It is perhaps a bit of a cruel joke that Cassandra’s letter arrives a few weeks later, another apology, but she mentions that she is getting closer to coming home. It is that bit of hope Rapunzel needs to not lose faith. She knew Cass would come back, just… making herself believe it for year upon years has been difficult. There is only so much heartache one person can take before moving on just seems like the best path to take.

Not that she would ever give up on Cassandra. It is just not easy loving someone who does not know it.

Her first act as queen is to pardon Cassandra without her being there. It causes a bit of an upheaval. The people were content with someone to blame, now they are somewhat left reeling. Their queen is so open about sharing the blame, the burden of it. It will take them even more time to accept that her decisions are not black and white, that no decision or action ever can be distinguished that clearly.

It takes the rest of the year rather… busy. Here she is, proving herself to the people yet again, just in a different way. They believe in her, they want to at least. It gets better, with time.

Rapunzel’s days are filled to the brim now, audiences, council meetings, all those sort of things that make the light metal adorning her head feel so very heavy with responsibility. It feels good, to feel the responsibility atop her shoulders and know that she can bear it. It exhausts her in the best way possible. She is queen and it finally feels like she has grown into that title properly.

In the end it takes them five years to find back to each other. Eugene looks positively giddy when he brings her the news of someone very familiar to both of them having been seen boarding a ship in Ingvarr with a course set for Corona. She appreciates it immensely that he came to see her just for that.

The news he delivers ignite that ember in her chest again, have the remnant magic in her blood spark up in a joyous song.

She tells the guards that she is to be informed of any boat arriving from Ingvarr. There are but a few and the first ones do not carry the one who so surely has her heart. Months pass until there is another one. The sun is already setting on the horizon, casting long shadows through her kingdom. Rapunzel is already preparing to retire for the day, her corset half loosened, her dark hair freed from its complicated braid.

Of course it is then when Pete informs her of another boat from Ingvarr. Rapunzel does not even take a moment to compose herself. She is already pushing past him to make her way to the docks. In her haste she stumbles a few times, scrapes her knees and hands. She does not even feel the sting.

The docks have not changed in all these years, still the same wooden planks, still the same stalls facing the never ending seas. There is a small throng of people stepping off the ship, young and old, though none of them Cassandra. She falters in her steps, thinks maybe it was just another false alarm. Rapunzel half expects to turn around and have someone hand her another letter describing the ways Cass will not come home.

She is sure she will not make it another year, cannot take another year of this poorly healing heartbreak. It might break her, more than it already has perhaps.

“Waiting for someone?”

That voice sends a shiver up her spine, has the magic resonate within her chest. She whirls around, breath trapped in her lungs. Is this another dream?

Here she is, her Cassandra, backlit by the dying light of the day. She looks older. Her hair is so much shorter, her features sharper. Rapunzel forgets how to be altogether for a second. Then she is tumbling forward, her legs nearly giving out before she can reach the other woman.

She falls into her, presses herself into her until there is no space left. Cassandra is solid, real beneath her fingertips. Rapunzel does not speak, she cannot speak. She can only stare and touch. She kisses her, pours five years of yearning into it. She does not stop, peppers kisses across her cheeks, the tiny scar on her eyebrow. Still she is not satisfied, grasping and pulling at Cassandra, because this still does not feel real.

Cassandra returns the kisses with the same amount of longing, the same amount of heartache. Two sides of the same coin.

“I’m home, Raps. I’m finally home.” She breathes it into the space between them like a silent confession.

Rapunzel laughs wetly, feels Cass wipe the tears from her cheeks with the softest of touches. She is here. She is really here, home and she is not pulling away. She presses her face into the crook of the brunette’s neck, breathes in the scent of salt, fresh air and something this is just simply Cassandra. Her magic is still swirling, still thrumming and twirling with Cass’.

She refuses to let go, cannot let go when she has let this love slip away once. Her heart is finally home and she will make sure Cassandra knows just how much that means.

"Took you long enough, love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boi, we have reached the end. Sure was some kind of journey. Thought I should let this end on a sweet note instead of souring it with all the things that these two have yet to speak about. Who knows, I might just write a separate epilogue just for that if you people want to.
> 
> Thank you for staying this long with me and rest assured this may be the first, but certainly not the last Cassunzel fic will write.


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